Making Friends At University

Stavros shares his top tips for making friends to new students who are starting their university journey. 

- Stavros

Before I moved to the UK for my studies, I used to be confident and surrounded by friends. Socialising was never a problem for me; I even considered myself an extrovert. I used to go out almost every night, party all the time, weekly road trips. My hometown was small, so most people my age knew me well. I had a solid group of friends who shared my interests, and life felt easy and vibrant. 

When I decided to study in the UK, I didn’t think about the challenges of starting over. Why should I face any kind of difficulty? 

Stepping onto the university campus felt like returning to school. I thought I’d find a community of adults, but instead, I felt like a child among adults. All my social skills vanished, and every English word I had painstakingly learned slipped away. It felt like I was in a bad teen comedy movie again.  

In my first two years, I managed to go to the university nightclub a few times and attended two house parties but my social skills were still underdeveloped, and I was never the first to reach out. I wanted friends, but part of me didn’t. Friends from home pressured me to socialise, but I had no energy to build a new social life from scratch. I often compared my current situation to my vibrant life back home, where friendships flowed easily.  

I started to compare my social life to the one I had a couple of months ago. I then realised that I was the one who was getting in my way with all these expectations and high standards.  

When I moved to the UK, I knew that everything was going to change. I wanted a change in my life and although I felt like the happiest man with the friends that I had, I felt like this challenge was a calling that would help me become my best version. My Grandma has always told me and still does to this day “We sacrifice something in order to win something” and it has stuck with me (I swear it sounds beautiful in Greek). 

The third year came and I moved to a student accommodation. If I had to give some wisdom to the readers of the story, I would tell everyone who is a student to live in a student accommodation, at least for the first year. I wish I knew that. The reason I had not stayed in the previous years was mostly because I was terrified by the thought of being surrounded by so many people. It turned out to be the best decision I made during university. I made friends, I exchanged knowledge and advice, we shared dishes and experiences from our cultures, we laughed and I finally found my voice again. I was finally funny again, extrovert, sociable, interesting, young. I was me again and I had forgotten about it for a long time during my studies. I joined the British Sign Language Class to learn a new skill and all of a sudden I met my best friend.  

My take-home message, what I realised at least for myself during those three years and what I wish someone would have told me is that:  

• PLEASE start university without expectations and high standards. You might have been popular in your neighbourhood or have had too many friends, but here this mindset might get in your way once you realise that you have to start from scratch.  
• PLEASE do not compare what you had with what you have. Everything and everyone is different and that is the beauty of it.  
• YES some days will be bad and some days will be good. Some months might be full of laughter and some months might be full of tears. But unexpected things happen all the time and it will happen ever more once you start exposing yourself. 

I also discovered that I’m not purely an extrovert, and that realisation was liberating. Listening to my body’s needs and embracing my true self made me feel more at peace. I learned that it’s okay to have moments of introversion and that balance is essential. 

Long story short, University is a rollercoaster. Buckle Up! 

Find out how you can get involved with the Student Minds Blog. You can also find support at Student Space.

I am a Psychology graduate and currently doing my Master's in Cognitive Neuroscience and Neuropsychology in London. When I first got into University I struggled a lot with my mental health and making friends. By sharing this story I hope students who struggle with making friends can relate to the situation I was in and find comfort when they realise that my stories always have a happy ending.