Hina and Syirah write a fictional story about two international students’ journeys through university and finding their way to friendship and belonging.
- Hina and Syirah
“Good evening. This announcement is for all passengers traveling to Dubai via Emirates flight EK1234. Please note that in a few minutes, we will start the process of boarding. You are requested to have your passport and boarding pass ready for verification.”
***
“Oh my God! Is that the bracelet from the Taylor Swift concert?”
Azra turned to look at the girl sitting next to her, who was pointing excitedly to her wrist. She smiled, “Yes! I went to the concert on Wembley N2. Did you go as well…?”
Her neighbour shook her head, “I’m Sarah! No, I wish I did, though. Two of my friends did and they said they had an amazing time.”
“It was magical, Sarah! I am Azra. I think we are on the same flight. You’re travelling to Dubai for holiday?” Azra asked.
“Oh, I am just taking a stopover flight to Brunei for the summer, actually. My family lives there. I am studying at Coventry University. Well, I was a student there. Just graduated!”
“Graduated? I don’t think I can even picture myself graduating just yet. I am still in first year. At King’s, actually but originally from India. What subject do you study? I am doing psychology.”
Sarah’s face perked up at this, “Me too! How has the first year been for you so far?”
Giving her a cheeky smile, Azra said, “I finished my exams in May so I am a bit relaxed now. It was definitely fun but sometimes I called up my mom and asked if I should just dropout.”
Sarah’s nodded, “I totally get you. It can be hard for international students to experience homesickness! Although, to be fair, I rarely got homesick in the first year.” Azra looked at her with surprise and a little relief. “I am really glad you said that because I have been a little ashamed about how I didn’t feel homesick at all. I was just overwhelmed by the university workload. But my best friend got me through it.”
“My friends really helped me too, but it was so hard for me to make friends at first because I came a semester late. Everyone seemed to know each other already and I am so socially awkward and introverted,” she said, a sad smile on her face.
Trying to help her neighbour feel better, Azra replied, “’Socially Awkward and Introverted’” is definitely going to be on my tombstone. But yeah, that must have been quite hard. How did you manage during the early days?”
Sarah stared at her phone’s wallpaper, which looked to be her family, and said, “At first, I relied on my family and school friends a lot by calling and texting them. But I also enjoyed having time to myself. It really helped me gain confidence and independence.”
Amazed, Azra said, “That actually sounds great, because I always have a hard time understanding what to do with myself. I feel like I crave other people’s company, despite also being an introvert.”
***
“Ladies and gentleman, this is a boarding announcement for passengers travelling to Dubai via Emirates flight EK1234. We now request all passengers with children and those requiring special assistance to come for boarding.”
***
“Honestly, those two states can coexist together. Despite liking my own company, I also love being around people and going out. I did join a society and that opened the doors to more opportunities, like I got to play netball with the Malaysian Society and compete. It was really fun!” Sarah replied, gathering her things in preparation for boarding.
Azra wanted to ask what netball was and if it was similar to football, but decided it wasn’t the time to do that, “Netball sounds so cool! I am very sports-challenged but for what it is worth, I can run down a hill very quickly. I think for me, friendships went a bit differently. The first friend I made was online, even before I came to university. I met her in a comment section for an official King’s account and reached out to her. It took a lot of courage and coaxing from my mom to text her, and now actually, we are close friends.”
Sarah looked up from her bag, raising her eyebrows in awe, “I can’t imagine becoming friends with someone online. I’m glad to hear that it worked out for you.”
Giggling, Azra added, “Pre-2021 me would run away at the thought of talking to strangers online but when I was about to leave for uni, I realized that I need to force myself to reach out to people and talk to them. And I think it worked well because I met my best friend on a WhatsApp group chat for freshers and now we are planning on living together next year.”
“That’s so cute! Yeah, I wish I had made more of an effort in first year, but I eventually made friends over time.”
Azra nodded, “I am glad you did. Everyone has their own process of making friends. I’m sure you know about this better than I do, but now that I have completed a year, I feel like maintaining friendships is an equally if not more important part of finding belonging. At university, you don’t really get to see your friends every day unless you seek them out.”
***
“Ladies and gentlemen, this is a boarding announcement for passengers travelling to Dubai via Emirates flight EK1234. We now request all passengers sitting in Zone C and D to come for boarding.”
***
“That’s me!” they said in unison and laughed. It took them a minute to collect everything and rush to the queue. At least it was moving fairly quickly.
Sarah returned to their conversation as soon as both of them were through the verification and were walking down the corridor to the flight. “It was quite easy to maintain friendships with friends who were part of my course, but I had to make a lot of effort for my friends outside of my university. At least I got to travel around the UK!”
Biting her lip out of habit, Azra responded, “Diverse friend groups are definitely harder to maintain but also so important to have. As an international student, I feel like I have grown a lot as a person because I made friends with people not from India and not just on my course. This way, I had so much to learn from them and to find different sorts of belonging.”
“Yeah, I totally agree with you. The person I was in first year was more scared and shy to meet new people and to try new things. But by my third year, I took on the initiative to do multiple volunteering roles at various places and took part in activities. I got to meet a lot of new people and was proud of myself.” Sarah had just finished talking when they entered the aircraft and were greeted by the cabin attendants. It turned out that Sarah was sitting a few rows in front of Azra.
As they made their way to Sarah’s seat first, Azra said, “I can’t wait to be proud of myself in the next two years. It would be a first!”, They had just reached Row 37 where Sarah was meant to sit. “Here, let me get that bag for you. Here we go! Before I go to my seat, the homesickness, does it just never hit, then? Is it a myth? Azra asked right as Sarah sat down in the aisle seat.
Not wanting to hold up the people behind, Sarah replied quickly, “I wish I could say it was. But I got really homesick in my third year. And the friends that I made in university got me through it all.”
Azra smiled, “Like a found family, huh?” “Exactly.”
Bidding each other goodbye, Azra went to her seat, feeling reassured and ready to comfortably nap on the flight.
This blog was written as part of the U-Belong campaign to combat loneliness and isolation at university. To find out more, visit their website. You can also find support at Student Space.
I am Hina, a recent Psychology graduate from King’s College London. Recently, I have been reflecting on the time I spent at university. For me, friendships and belonging have been at the centre of the positive experiences I had at university. I went from being someone who believed she wasn’t worthy of good relationships to someone who has been uplifted by her friends’ love and kindness. And so, the prospect of helping other students find the same kind of belonging makes me really happy. I cannot wait for the U-Belong Campaign and its message to reach students all over UK.
Hi, I am Syirah and I am a Psychology Graduate from Coventry University. My experience as an international student has motivated me to make the most out of the opportunities in the UK. As a result, my involvement in multiple volunteering roles, such as volunteering with the NHS, local museum, and online reading groups have strongly influenced my drive to take part in the U-Belong Research. The aims of U-Belong truly reflect my values in creating a better environment for international students who may struggle with belongingness and their wellbeing. My role as a psychology student has provided me with the foundations of research, whilst also allowing me to improve my research and transferable skills. I look forward to seeing how the U-Belong campaign will progress
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