- Amanda Jerelyn
Ever wondered whether maybe one of the friends you perceive as strong, witty, and charming would not feel the same on the inside? Perhaps they are fighting a battle of their own from within...
Hi, my name is Amanda. And finally, I am at a place mentally, spiritually, and physically that I can accept, I am that friend, or at least was. I have recently graduated from the University of London in the field of Psychology, and during all of my university years, I was trying too hard to be happy, without acknowledging or sharing my own mental health challenges. I was the friend who always tried to make other people feel happy in my presence and be all ears to listen and lend my shoulder to cry on. But when it came down to my own circumstances, I would isolate myself and refuse to see anybody until I had the same positive energy back.
The irony was that I was a student of psychology and not applying the concepts I was studying to myself. The dorm life and the burden of carrying forced positivity started getting to me. Once it started getting severe so that I couldn’t study and started lacking energy, I realized I needed help. I finally faced the truth that maybe I might be experiencing a mental health issue that needs addressing.
Talk to Someone
My tutor was a clinical psychologist with an understanding of young people’s mental health, so I mustered up the courage and decided that after class, I will talk to him. And so I did. And maybe that was the best decision I could’ve made to get started on the right path of this journey. I went over to him after the last student had left, and with his permission to sit down, I began to talk my heart out. It wasn’t as easy as it sounds now. I will admit that I felt so vulnerable at that moment as I was crying and shaking, but he listened. And as he listened intently, it became more apparent to him that his genius student had been masking her true identity all along. And most of all, she needed help. Through talking to him, it hit me hard that I was suffering from severe anxiety.
Acceptance is Key
My tutor was supportive, and I learned that maybe a little ray of hope that somebody believes in you could be a huge help in that fleeting moment of vulnerability and denial. Over time, it became clearer to me that the goal was to manage my anxiety issues that lead to my depressive episodes. My tutor had advised me that the very first thing is acceptance, as it is the key to overcoming my phase of denial. Anybody who has been diagnosed with any physical or mental health difficulty can face the struggle where they are not ready to accept that they are ill. Acceptance is important to find ways to manage the condition. My tutor even suggested that there are courses like ‘Be Mindful’ available online that show positive results in people, reducing up to 58% anxiety levels. I found this helpful, but other support might be more beneficial to other people
Overcoming the Challenges
Consequently, as I accepted that I am suffering from anxiety, I became determined to manage the difficulties I faced. And so I pledged that:
• I will no more retreat back to my safe harbor when it is unhealthy to do so.
• I will not distance myself from friends when I feel distressed
• I will not keep my feelings inside but instead talk about them to whoever I feel comfortable
• I will try to proactively remedy my anxiety, so it does not lead to depression and low mood.
• I will take out time to look after my mental wellbeing, meditate, and move towards self-love and positivity.
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And so as I began this journey to manage my anxiety, I didn’t know that by the time I neared my final year in university, I would be a meditating, positive, and internally happy person genuinely. Today, I no longer mask my feelings and carry a fake persona. I no longer force positivity, but I am proud to be genuinely positive. In my experience, overcoming mental health difficulties requires asking for help but also working to reflect on ways that I can manage and overcome my difficulties.
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In order to become a truthfully happy, genuinely at peace and a loving friend to people, I no longer force myself. I socialize at my own pace and don’t bear the responsibility that maybe I have to be there every time for others. Today, I am not selfless but rather self-loved. And if I can do it, so can you!
Check out Student Minds resources for anxiety and finding support for further information.
Amanda Jerelyn recently completed her graduation in the field of Psychology from the University of London. She is an aspiring writer, providing coursework writing service, and a wellness blogger for people struggling with mental illnesses. She has gained a significant fan-following because of the friendliness in her writing style.
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