Suffering In Silence

Chloe talks about her ongoing battle with anxiety and the importance of accepting help.

-Chloe

I realised recently that I have huge anxiety. I came to that conclusion when I left the house earlier today and freaked out so decided to return home. I find it difficult to leave my house unless I am seeing a close friend (I only have a selective number of close friends none of which are in Cambridge) or if my boyfriend comes to visit me. Other than that I can't leave my house. Not even for uni! I barely leave for my work and for other friends. I have suffered from depression for a while now ever since I was a kid. It made me a shy and unconfident person; however by the time I got to sixth form I thought I had finally mastered it as I became outspoken and optimistic. I was able to do public speaking being a part of debate club and sing in a band… until I lost someone dear to me before starting university in 2015 which didn't affect me till later on.

I struggled a lot last year and I have gotten worse. I started off my second year strong but as soon as second semester hit I stopped going to uni, my social clubs and barely talked to anyone. I felt the most comfortable talking on social media which gave me an excuse to stay at home. I know I am behind but I still can't manage to leave my room. I worked so hard to get where I am but nothing seems to be motivating me. I debated quitting university so many times and I still am. I know I had to contact someone so I emailed the head of my course to try and set up a meeting but once again I got cold feet; I called him and explained what happened and he promised to get me help and also contact my lecturers, so at the moment I am still in a continuous loop until I breakout.

That's it, I don't have a happy ending right now but I am getting help and you can too. Last month I went in for a counselling consultation, the head of my course is looking into. If you are struggling with mental illness contact someone whether it's your friends, parents or teachers because now I know I can get better, I just need to believe in myself.