Lottie discusses her experience upon graduating from university and the advice she has received.
- Lottie Naughton
When I received my exam mark for the last exam I would ever
have to sit, I was ecstatic. I had out done myself; my best mark had been
awarded to me in an exam I was so sure I had failed. I jumped around my room so
happy and so thrilled. All of my hard work had paid off! Four years of my
academic life were successful and worthwhile. I was proud of myself, for the
first time in a very long time.
However, my anxiety did not let me dwell on these feelings
for long. In fact, only a day later I found myself worrying. My friends were
sharing news of new jobs and careers, further study or travel plans. I had
nothing. I was alone, back at home. It was starting to sink in that I had
nothing lined up for the rest of my life! No plans, no job, no money. I was
back in my childhood bedroom, in my pyjamas at 1pm in the middle of a working
week, with half a CV and no idea what to do with my life.
I tried to keep busy, applying for as many jobs as I could.
“Start at the bottom and work your way up” my mum was telling me, “You’ve set
yourself apart from others with this degree, you’ll be fine” she kept reminding
me. But, as more and more unsuccessful applications were returned to me, I was
losing hope fast. I was staying in bed for half the day, not able to get up and
face another rejection. I only got up and dressed half an hour or so before my
family came home so they wouldn’t suspect anything was wrong. My mum caught me
crying in the bathroom one afternoon, and I finally opened up to her. She gave
me the pep talk of my life.
She reminded me of so many positive and inspiring things I
had done and I am yet to do. She gave me the hard truth, and it was exactly
what I needed. I want to share what she said to me, in the hopes anyone facing
life after graduation, and is worried about their transition at the moment
might also be able to pick themselves up and keep on trucking, just as I have
had to:
“Sometimes, the weight of the world can be troubling to
someone who has only experienced life in a short span of time. You are in
free-fall, falling at the speed of light, so much so you feel as if you are
standing still and the world feels like it is passing you by. Feeling hopeless
now is normal. Do you really think anyone had their life figured out in their
early twenties? You have yet to even know who you are as a person- this is a
time of reflection, perseverance and setbacks.
This time in your young life is shaping who you are going to
become as an adult. Relish it, be aware of it, and push through it. You can
feel a large chapter of your life closing, and can sense that soon you are
going to have to turn the page to a whole new chapter, a new experience, a
scary and mysterious path. You are grieving for your academic life, your care
free and younger self. Do you not see? This is a good thing! This is you
finally becoming who you are meant to be.
You are aware of what you are leaving behind, and you are
frightened of what is yet to come. This is not a rare and unique experience. We
all must face it and we all get through it. Keep pushing on, keep striving for
more, keep expecting and hoping for more- your ambition and your will are
growing stronger with every application you make, unsuccessful or not. It is
teaching you something. Don’t ignore the lesson. You are going to be okay. Your
success is not measured by comparing yourself to others. It will be measured in
your adult life- in how you deal with this turning page. “
I am still frightened and worried about my future, but now,
I am aware of what this is teaching me. I am pushing through my anxious
feelings and I am relishing on my successful academic life that I am moving on
from. Remember that life is a long journey; remember to always put it into
perspective.
I think this is an excellent blog, Lottie. Much of what you have discussed and shared resonates with my recent experience of graduating as a mature student. I was fortunate enough to be offered the second graduate job I applied for in the field of my degree - social work. However, I still feel anxiety mixed with excitement about the responsibility my new role holds. I think your mother's advice is wise and pertinent to graduands of all ages and academic backgrounds. Thank you.
ReplyDelete