Part I of "The Cat's Out of the Bag..." by LAYM competition winnerLizzie Akass

As part of our Look After Your Mate campaign, we held a creative writing competition on the theme of ‘friendship’ in partnership with The Student Wordsmith. We're delighted to release the first of our winning entries, a short story called "The Cat's Out of the Bag..." by Lizzie Akass from Loughborough University, the first part of which is below.

Part I of ‘The Cat’s Out of the Bag...’

by Lizzie Akass

‘Just give me the keys to a cat shelter now.’

‘Oh come on, don’t you think you’re overreacting?’

‘No. I’m so sick of men. I hate boys.’

‘Shall we become nuns together then?’

‘Too much work. I’d rather be a cat lady.’

‘OK. I’ll buy you a cardigan so you can button it up wrong.’

‘Perfect, I need glasses with the tape in the middle as well, please.’

‘On it. Anything else?’

‘Jonny Depp would be nice.’

‘Too old for you, it’d ruin him, he’d be creepy, not sexy. Robert Pattinson?’

‘Hmm . . . I think he’s more your type.’

‘He was voted sexiest man in the world a few times, I think he’s a lot of people’s type.’

‘No. I need options.’

‘Zac Efron?’

‘Perfect.’

‘OK, so the ‘no boys’ thing is out of the window then?’

‘No, no. Still in place. He can just visit me when I need a man, ninety percent of the time I’m good with the cats.’

‘Well if the cats are in cages they can’t leave you.’

‘Exactly, they’d have to love me.’

‘That many cats is a lot of work though.’

‘Less work than a relationship.’

‘Well, evidently. But Dave is just a tool though, he can’t be your bar to judge all men by.’

‘Ben and Jerry are the only men I need in my life.’

‘Oh no, Zac will be so disappointed.’

‘OK, Ben, and Jerry, and Zac.’

‘Now you’re being greedy.’

‘You’re the one eating all the ice cream.’

‘Well, I did pay for it.’

I pass the melting pot of chocolate over to her and she plunges her spoon in. The Disney movie we’re watching flickers into a new scene. She glances up and begins to sing along, spluttering chocolate.

‘Oh you’re so attractive.’

‘I’m allowed to be. Newly single people are allowed to be gross for a month. It’s practically law.’

‘Oh really? Where was I when this was decided?’

‘Not being dumped.’

‘Fair point. But I do have to look at you . . . and smell you . . . when was the last time you showered?’

‘Yesterday.’

‘OK sure, sure. And in reality?’

‘Thursday.’

‘It’s Sunday.’

‘I’m allowed to be gross! Simba wouldn’t judge me.’ She nods at the TV screen.

‘Lions wash themselves all the time.’

‘They also eat raw animal innards, your argument is invalid.’

The Lion King finishes. She launches herself to the cabinet beside the TV and produces three other Disney movies to choose from.

‘Which one?’

(To be continued...)

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Lizzie Akass is an undergraduate English student at Loughborough University. She loves writing both short stories and novels, and has recently had her short story, 'Cambodia', published through The Story Graph, loosely based on her own travelling experiences through South-East Asia.